Flying With Broken Wings

Yes, we were flying high, soaring among the clouds, free and happy!  Then a health crisis began - one minute everything was beautiful and fine - the next minute, frightening, security of our loved one threatened, life changed in an instant.  Our precious, perfect 16 month old baby, Sadie Caroline, was sick.  Nothing else mattered - everything that was so important yesterday vanished.  All of our attention, prayers, concerns, love were focused on our baby girl.

That is how fast we can get everything put into perspective and determine what is important and what is not.  Until something like this comes along, we are so shallow in our faith and our lives, always living on the surface looking for happiness and personal satisfaction, thinking that we understand the plight of others with problems, but not really understanding at all.

We lost our baby to cancer within a very short 40 days and had to find a way to live our lives without her.  This past year has been a blur - almost like someone just scrambled up everything - and left us to try to put ourselves back together without all the pieces.  We were like birds who were flying along all happy, singing our song, and blap! - ran into a window and broke a wing.  After that we couldn't fly along carefree any more, plus we had to learn to fly with a broken wing.  Life is just not the same since our loss.

After a year I still have people tell me they don't see how I do it - how I can work and smile and live life with such pain in my heart.  This is what I have concluded.

 I can say for me this has been the saddest most heartbreaking thing I can imagine. But the thing that got me through is my faith that God is watching over us and that tomorrow will come. Life will not always be as we want it, but fighting it just never gains anything. Accepting the changes and finding our way again in the midst of change is the only way to survive. I have learned to pray for God's will to be done and for God to give me strength. I have learned that listening to others and reaching out to others is the best way to heal myself. This is how I can put one foot in front of the other - just get out there, stay busy, encourage others, have faith and pray for strength each and every day. My smiles are real - I love life even through the pain and sadness this has brought - I look forward to every day and it's opportunities and the people who will come my way that hopefully I can influence in a positive way.

 Life is a mystery to us, but God has a plan. Sadie is safe and happy in heaven now, and we all have to remember her sweetness and live our lives to the fullest without her physical presence, but hold her memory close in our hearts. Please, if you love someone, let them know today - tell them, give them a hug and a smile.

Click this link to see what many are helping me do in Sadie's memory - to keep her memory alive and share her sunshine smiles with others in need.  www.facebook.com/sadiesunshinechapter

Pocket Prayer Cloth (Heart) - Prayer Shawl Ministry

Pocket Prayer Cloth - Heart (Crochet Pattern)

designed by Sadie Sunshine Chapter - Crochet for Cancer

Skill Level:  Intermediate

Materials Needed:
     **  Soft worsted weight yarn - pastel solid color
     **  Size F crochet hook

Abbreviations:
CH = chain
SC = single crochet
DC = double crochet
PC = popcorn stitch
SL ST = slip stitch
YO = yarn over
SK = skip a stitch

Finished size approximately 5" x 7" or smaller depending on yarn used.

POPCORN STITCH -
Make 3 DC in the same stitch.  Take the hook out of the loop of the last DC and insert the hook in the top of first DC.  Hook the loop you just dropped and draw it through the stitch.  Pull tight and then CH 1.  Push the popcorn stitch to the front as you go to the next SC.

CH 18 loosely.

ROW 1 - Starting in the second chain from the hook, SC in each chain (17 SC total).  CH 1, Turn.

ROW 2 - SC in each stitch across (17 SC total).  CH 1. Turn.

ROW 3 - SC 8, PC 1, SC 8. CH 1. Turn.

ROW 4 - SC in each stitch across (17 SC total). CH 1. Turn.

ROW 5 - SC 7, PC 1, SC 1, PC 1, SC 7, CH 1.  Turn.

ROW 6 - Repeat Row 4

ROW 7 - SC 6, PC 1, SC 3, PC 1, SC 6, CH 1.  Turn.

ROW 8 - Repeat Row 4

ROW 9 - SC 5, PC 1, SC 5, PC 1, SC 5, CH 1.  Turn.

ROW 10 - Repeat Row 4

ROW 11 - SC 4, PC 1, SC 7, PC 1, SC 4, CH 1.  Turn.

ROW 12 - Repeat Row 4

ROW 13 - SC 3, PC 1, SC 9, PC 1, SC 3, CH 1.  Turn.

ROW 14 - Repeat Row 4

ROW 15 - SC 2, PC 1, SC 11, PC 1, SC 2, CH 1.  Turn.

ROW 16 - Repeat Row 4

ROW 17 - SC 1, PC 1, SC 13, PC 1, SC 1, CH 1.  Turn.

ROW 18 - Repeat Row 4

ROW 19 - SC 1, PC 1, SC 6, PC 1, SC 6, PC 1, SC 1, CH 1.  Turn.

ROW 20 - Repeat Row 4

ROW 21 - SC 2, PC 1, SC 3, PC 1, SC 3, PC 1, SC 3, PC 1, SC 2, CH 1.  Turn.

ROW 22 - Repeat Row 4

ROW 23 - SC 4, PC 1, SC 7, PC 1, SC 4, CH 1.  Turn.

ROW 24- Repeat Row 4

ROW 25 - SC in each SC across (17 SC)

BORDER - CH 2, SC in each row, SC 3 in the corner, SC in each sitch across the bottom, SC 3 in the corner, SC in each row  up the side, SC 3 in the corner, SC in each stitch across the top, SL ST in the beginning SC at the corner and finish off.



You are free to use this for any charity purpose or gifts, however, we would very much appreciate donations to Sadie Sunshine Chapter of Crochet for Cancer, mailed to Sadie Sunshine Chapter, c/o Memories Past and Present, 324 N. Elm Street, Henderson, KY  42420


You can find more information on our ministry at

www.facebook.com/sadiesunshinechapter

Thank you and God Bless You!    

Healing and Faith - Growing Deep Roots

I watered and tended my violets this morning (I have around 40 or so), and noticed how they are strong and thriving. Many times over the past year+ I have mentioned I guess my violets would die because I just lost interest in them and didn't water them until they were hanging over the edge of the pots. 

You see, I have been through a lot and have not been what I would call normal for quite a while.  I had a tragic loss of my baby grandaughter to cancer which sent our family reeling and trying to once again find our firm footing.  Only just recently did I start to get back to semi-normal and watered and tended them weekly as they require. 

Even through all that time of suffering, apparently they were growing stronger roots so that they could come back better than ever, because they are blooming and standing tall again today. Through faith and calling on strength that only God can give, we can go through periods of stress or illness in our lives and come out blooming with life in our bodies again.  Through nourishing my mind with God's word and promises, I found that I was growing deeper roots so that I could come back to life and start to see the joy in living again and let my light shine again.

Thank you, God, for each new day and all the opportunities to live. Grief has taken its toll on my heart, but it has made me see the world and people through new eyes.