Sunday, February 23, 2014

And I heard myself say, "Oh, It's Easy"

A little history for some who have not been following my blog before....in November of 2012, my little beautiful 16 month old grandaughter, Sadie Caroline, was diagnosed with cancer.  After many prayer-filled days and nights and the agony of seeing her health deteriorate quickly, we lost this precious child on December 21, 2012.  This has been the most devastating thing I can imagine going through and watching her go through and watching my daughter and her husband and my little grandson go through.  The last year and a half has been the very most difficult time I could imagine.

All the while Sadie was sick and after out loss I have chosen to share the journey through my facebook pages and through this blog.  This loss has brought about change in my life that I could have never anticipated.

Along the way I discovered that sharing the ups and downs of this journey has been healing for me.  I find it comforting to speak of Sadie and our journey and express my feelings.  I have many people who tell me that I have been an inspiration to them.  I don't really know how I have found the strength, but that I have asked for the strength and peace that only God can provide, every step of the way.

I operate an antique and gift shop and also a yarn shop.  Each day I meet and visit with many different people.  Some know my story, and others learn my story as they visit.  Many tears have been shed and hugs and words of comfort shared in my shop and also online on my facebook pages. 

This weekend I celebrated 10 years in my shop with an open house.  I had very dear friends and customers stopping in all day long giving me words of congratulations and love and support and encouragement.  

I have two special friends - he is pastor of the Church of Christ, and she is his wife.  He happened to be in my store the day I got the call from my daughter that we had lost Sadie.  He prayed with me right then, and it meant the world to me that he was there.  His wife is a wonderful friend who has helped me in the shop some and has always been there as a friend.  They visited me yesterday and as they were leaving, she told me how proud they were of me and how I was glorifying God in the work that I do and the inspiration I am passing on to others.  And that's when I heard myself say "Oh, it's easy!"

As soon as I said that, I surprised myself and wondered how I could say that and feel that way?  In light of the fact that this has been the most difficult time of my life, how could I say it is easy?

After some thought, I realized it is "easy" because of Sadie and God's love.  I am remembering Sadie and trying to share her goodness in this world.  She can't be here to do it, and I am her grandmother, and I want others to know her and what a blessing she was and is in my life.  I prayed for God to guide me, and He has been by my side every step of the way.    So what has been the deepest valley of my life has also allowed me to stand on the mountain and sing praises and glorify God.  I'm not exactly sure how that happened because it has been a long and difficult uphill climb, but I know I could have never done it on my own.

Each day God sends people into my life that give me strength and encouragement to travel this road, and so it has become easier with each step I take.  What a blessing it has been to be able to grow out of such tragedy, and to feel sweet Sadie's presence in my life every day.  She can't be here physically, but nothing can take her out of my heart.

If you are going through a trial in your life, instead of trying to handle it all on your own, pray for God to give you strength, peace and courage.  You, too, can find yourself on the mountain top again singing praises and glorifying Him.  

A new friend brought me a gift yesterday which was a writing she had done called "The Stairway of Faith".  It speaks of God helping us up the stairway of our life with his outstretched hand there to help us and guide us up the next step saying to us "Come on up!  You can do this!".  If I can do this, so can you with God's help.

Please go to my web page in memory of Sadie and consider getting involved in our chapter of Crochet for Cancer.  www.facebook.com/sadiesunshinechapter www.facebook.com/sadiesunshinechapter

2 comments:

Keo Fred said...

Thanks for sharing your heart and your journey!!

Mildred Moss said...

As a grandmother myself, I can't imagine the pain you feel. My grandsons are 19 and 21, but I am still aware of the dangers they face every day. Your story would encourage me if something should happen to them. Thank you.
Millie
mildredmoss.wordpress.com